Posted by: hawaiianhaircut | 04/07/2010

Early April in the East

T.C shows off for the other Super Bowl coaches in the East.  Milk is for babies!

There has been a lot to digest the last few days with the outright craziness of Donovan McNabb being moved in division to the hapless Skins. Dare I say Dan Snyder has made a wise move from atop his ivory tower?  It certainly seems at first glance that the redmen made out like Jimmy the Gent at the Lufthansa hanger; getting a Pro Bowl QB with good years remaining for 2 non first round picks.  A trade of a player of this magnitude in division is a rarity at best. The media gnats have brought the Bledsoe-to-the-Bills talk up several times, but in that case Tom Brady was already wearing a gaudy piece of jewelery.  Kevin Kolb is evidently amazing.

So how does this swap effect the division at large?  A lot of question marks as usual, with the one definite being the Skins have gotten better.  Here’s a April check in with the Gmen and their puny helpless rivals. As Conan the Barbarian once epically stated:

“What is best in life: Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!”

Dallas Cowboys

Dallas has been cost cutting the vets at this point in the offseason.  Flozell is thankfully gone (though reports are out there the Skins might woo him in order to create a Voltron of NFC East castoffs) as is safety Ken Hamlin. It seems offensive line will be a priority for them in the draft.  Tony Romo is no doubt dating a southern blonde steamer and working on looking more douche-like in a backwards hat.  As per custom, Jerry’s crew is the preseason division favorite for most pundits.  We know what that means…welcome back to underachiever-ville. Don’t worry, Roy Williams is saving everyone seats.

New York Giants

After the safety conscious first moves this offseason, the questions still remain on the roster. Tom Coughlin was vocal in his desire to see Donovan leave the division , but to no avail.  The biggest question for this team remains at MLB.  That vast wasteland in the middle currently manned by the Blackburn/Goff/Holy Ghost is ripe for some talent influx. Will that talent be procured earlier then the draft or during? If its a rookie…how bad is the learning curve going to be? Seeing that the MLB has tons of responsibility in the typical cover 2 4-3 defense, Perry will no doubt be demanding.  This one position will say alot for where this team will be next season. Right now, yes I am currently cold and shaking.  Across the board, the key to next year will not be the additions made to the team, it will be improved performances from players on the roster.  Though coaches took the brunt of the blame, the players didn’t perform last season, and that needs to change.

Though the three words of comfort remain: Trust in Jerry

Philadelphia Eagles

Well now that the biggest scapegoat for non playoff success in Filthadelphia is gone, its now time to anoint the next lucky guy for the job.  Looks a lot like Kevin Kolb.  To say there is pressure on Kolb would be an understatement. Even though the locals are peasant Pennsyltucky yokels and weren’t able to appreciate McNabb, not making the playoffs a couple years might fix that perspective. There is no story on this team we will hear more often this season than this one. If Kevin Kolb is very good (good might not get it done in this division) this season, the talent around this team might shine.  However if Kolb is decent to not so good, either because of personal performance, injuries or the line not protecting him, coupled with the defense which isn’t as good as its been, then the Eagles might find themselves in an unusual spot: Last.

Washington Redskins

What a week in Washington. Almost overnight, the Redskins have transformed themselves into a contender for the division. This team had a pretty solid defense that may get better with Jim Haslett at the controls, and a decent mostly unproven group of wideouts.  The line is questionable at best, and the running game is stocked with guys who are semi ancient but might have a drop left…however with McNabb, this team is now legitimate.  The Injuns, with Shanny running the show, will no doubt produce some more points than the previous incarnations of this team have been putting up.  The rest remains to be seen..will these underachieving WR’s from previous drafts come along with the man who rode Todd Pinkston to a SuperBowl?  Can the line actually be any worse?  

The only certain result at this point from this trade seems to be that the Skins will be better for at least this season and probably the next few. The Eagles for some reason felt the need to arm the enemy and leave him where he could still hurt them, reminiscent of Fulgencio Batista after Castro failed to overthrow him in 1956.  Batista just let Fidel and the survivors hide out in the Sierra Maestra instead of hunting them. Result? Overthrown in ’59 and runs off on New Years.  Don’t just chase them away….get them off the damn island! If Donovan is riding in a victory parade through his supporters like Fidel, Andy Ried might be fleeing to the Dominican Republic in three years himself. Perhaps he can hitch a ride with Michael Corleone.


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